Break Your Bad Habits
How to Get Your Ex Back Tips #5: Break Your Bad Habits.
Before you try to get your ex back let me start off with a question – something for you to reflect on.
During the last six months or so, before your separation from your ex, were there certain things you did that drove your ex crazy? Did you have any behaviors that your ex couldn’t stand? Did any of these behaviors attribute to the break up?
What comes to mind might surprise you. There’s a good possibility that you might remember quite a few things you did that your ex wasn’t fond of. Either by choice, or not, we tend to forget the things we did wrong in the relationship. However, it’s important that we realize, right away, the bad habits we picked up, so that we can begin working on getting rid of them.
There’s no better time than now to work on breaking these habits for good. Not only does it increase your chances of winning your ex back, but it also serves as a form of self-improvement. And by improving ourselves we are also improving our confidence and self-worth. That’s a great combination if you really want to get your ex back!
One question that needs to be answered is how do you go about breaking your bad habits? First, you need to be one hundred percent honest with yourself and discover what habits need correcting. Once you determine what those habits are, you can begin work on either fixing them or getting rid of them altogether. That’s the second part we’re about to cover.
Have you ever read a book about how to break bad habits? If you haven’t, then I highly suggest you visit your local bookstore and pick one up. They’re full of useful information.
With that being said, there is one central strategy to breaking bad habits that every habit-breaking book I’ve ever read has been built upon. It’s a very simple, yet powerful strategy. But, it will take some time to master. You will have to be willing to be patient and work at it constantly. However, many people have used this strategy with great success. It definitely will help you get your ex back.
Do you want to know what the strategy is?
Deliberate concentration. Yep.
You’ve got to make a conscious effort to focus on each bad habit, one at a time, and work towards either eliminating that bad habit or fixing it. Many people believe this is the ONLY way to break your bad habits.
How can you use concentration to get rid of your bad habits? The principles behind it are simple. The actual application is a little more difficult. Let’s look at the basic idea.
1. Create a list of the bad habits you want to work on. List the habits in order from highest priority to lowest priority.
2. Take the habit you have listed first and start intensely focusing and concentrating, every day, on fixing that habit.
3. Every time you notice yourself executing that habit, stop it immediately. A trick that is commonly used is wearing a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you do the bad habit, you pop your wrist with that rubber band.
4. Focus ONLY on that one habit. Don’t worry about, or move on to, another habit until you’ve fixed your first habit.
5. Once you’ve mastered that first habit, select the next habit that’s on your list and follow the same process as you did with the first one.
To give you an example, I was terrible at doing the dishes. It might not sound like a big deal, but pile that habit on about ten others, and they can build to create a great amount of tension in a relationship. So, how did I break myself of it?
I made a conscious effort to do the dishes EVERY NIGHT. No matter if there was only one spoon in the sink, I scrubbed it like there was no tomorrow, and put it in the dishwasher. Sounds easy enough, but it was really a challenge for me. Once you create a bad habit, it’s hard to break it. But it is definitely possible.
There were days where I would cuss like a sailor while I did the dishes, but I did them – day in and day out. After about two weeks of doing the dishes every day (pure hell at the time), it began not to bother me as much. Over the next two weeks, it bothered me less and less. Before I knew it, doing the dishes wasn’t bad at all. I’d put my headphones on, jam out, and wipe off leftover food.
While I won’t go so far as to say I enjoy doing the dishes, it doesn’t bother me one bit now. I don’t even think about it. It’s part of my daily routine. Much like brushing your teeth in the morning. You might not be the biggest fan of it, but you still have to do it.
Focusing daily on your bad habits can correct those habits and dampen the negative effect they have on you and the loved ones around you.
But why are breaking your bad habits so important for you to get your ex back?
It’s pretty simple. These bad habits you picked up along the way created conflict within your relationship. They might have even been one of the reasons your relationship with your ex ended.
When the time comes and you start talking to your ex again (and it will), you’ll reveal to them that you’ve actively worked on bettering yourself since the break up. You’ll display a new maturity that once wasn’t there. You’ll show that you care enough about your relationship that you’re willing to work on the things your ex didn’t appreciate, or like.
This isn’t being needy or being weak. It’s quite the opposite actually. It shows that you’re becoming independent, and that you’re stronger than what your ex previously thought. Those are two traits that both men and women find attractive.
By breaking bad habits, you’re taking away reasons that your ex broke up with you. Take away enough of them, and your ex won’t be able to help but fall in love with you all over again.
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