Don’t Bring Up Past Mistakes
How to Get Your Ex Back Tips #6: Don’t Bring Up Past Mistakes.
What’s in the past is in the past. There’s never a good time or reason to bring up past mistakes with anyone. This rings especially true with someone you’re trying to reconcile a relationship with.
Without any thought, you can name at least ten mistakes your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband made during your relationship. With that being said, I’m sure your ex could name at least twenty mistakes you made during that same relationship. You both screwed up multiple times while you were together.
The point I’m trying to make is that both you and your ex made mistakes during your relationship. Of course, right after the split, we’re quick to blame the other for the separation (unless under special circumstances). But deep down, we know that we were also at fault on more than one occasion.
It doesn’t matter who made the most mistakes while you were together. The only thing that matters is that you never bring up your ex’s past mistakes when you’re trying to get back together with them.
One of the most damaging things you can do during your attempt to get your ex back is to bring up all of the mistakes they committed during your relationship.
Why?
For starters, bringing up past mistakes places your ex in defense mode.
Sure, they might own up to those mistakes, but they’ll also try and rationalize why they did them. This rationalization normally includes a void they needed to fill because of an inadequacy you possessed during the relationship. In defense mode, your ex will find a way to take their past mistakes and blame them on you. This is called a defense mechanism. It’s not intentional, and we all do it.
But this defense mechanism causes resentment. And resentment’s definitely not an emotion you want to feel when you’re trying to get your ex back.
On top of the resentment that can be created, placing your ex on the defensive can fuel an argument between the two of you. Before you know it, what started out as a possible relationship-reconciling conversation has quickly turned into a shouting match. You, or your ex, end up storming out the door and your current relationship is now damaged more than ever. That’s not how you want to get your ex back.
Also, bringing up past mistakes can conjure bad memories from your past relationship.
Think of it like this. While in the final stages of your previous relationship with your ex, the mistakes that both of you made were probably brought to light amidst the many arguments that occurred.
So, what do you think will happen if you bring those mistakes up again?
It will take the both of you back in time to all of the negative moments that were the source of all of the fighting and resentment. In both your eyes, starting over means more fighting and arguing. What good does that do for your current situation?
Do you really think you can have a relationship with your ex again if the both of you still have ill feelings toward each other? Exactly.
That’s why it’s so important that you follow this simple tip…
DON’T EVER BRING UP PAST MISTAKES THAT EITHER YOU, OR YOUR EX, COMMITTED IN YOUR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP!!
Remember that you’re not starting where you left off. This isn’t a continuation of your relationship that ended on bad terms. This is a BRAND NEW relationship. The two of you are starting over with clean slates.
As you’re building your new relationship with your ex, it’s inevitable that they are going to do something that you don’t necessarily like, or agree with (remember…we’re all human). You might feel the urge to bring up a mistake they made in the past. Stop yourself from making that mistake.
It might possibly halt any advancement towards a new relationship with your ex, and it could possibly be the final nail in the coffin that was your relationship.
Leave the past in the past. Be present in the present. Let your future be determined in the future.
Learn how to get your ex back with this step by step strategy. Click here to learn more.
